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教育孩子說(shuō)的話
“你這種成績(jī)將來(lái)怎么能找到工作!”、“你怎么能懶成這樣!”、“你怎么能這樣跟我講話!”對(duì)很多人來(lái)說(shuō)，這些話聽(tīng)上去多少有些耳熟。不是從小聽(tīng)父母這么講，就是已經(jīng)開(kāi)始對(duì)孩子這么說(shuō)了。每當(dāng)我們?nèi)绱苏f(shuō)孩子的時(shí)候，他們往往面無(wú)表情且一言不發(fā)。這是為什么呢?近日，臺(tái)灣《康椒雜志就此問(wèn)題采訪了多位兒童心理專(zhuān)家，總結(jié)出父母在與子女溝通時(shí)，有12句不能說(shuō)的話。
1.“快起來(lái)！今天上課要好好聽(tīng)講�。�不要和孩子在早上談話，尤其是當(dāng)他還沒(méi)睡醒時(shí)。青少年喜歡在晚上交流，因?yàn)樗麄兊纳镧姳瘸扇撕笱印?/p>
2.“看著我的眼睛�！�不要直視孩子的眼睛。用“并肩坐著”取代“面對(duì)面”，孩子比較容易打開(kāi)心扉。
3.“今天下午不許去打球了，我們需要談?wù)��！?/strong>不要占用整塊的娛樂(lè)時(shí)間和他們談心，不妨在與孩子一起打球、看戲或者吃飯時(shí)交流一下。
4.“你摔誰(shuí)呢１不要禁止孩子咆哮、摔門(mén)、哭泣。讓他們發(fā)泄，訓(xùn)練自己傾聽(tīng)他們帶有情緒性的字眼。
5.“你今天在學(xué)校怎么樣？”不要提過(guò)于籠統(tǒng)的問(wèn)題，而應(yīng)以正面的態(tài)度問(wèn)特定、具體的問(wèn)題。比如：“老師怎么評(píng)價(jià)你這篇作文?”
6.“你這么想完全錯(cuò)誤，應(yīng)該……”不要打斷他們的話，就開(kāi)始說(shuō)自己的想法。因?yàn)楹⒆有枰獣r(shí)間去整理思緒，通常不會(huì)一次就能表達(dá)清楚自己的想法。
7.“別總是亂花錢(qián)１不要老把話題集中在瑣事上。談些更能引起他們興趣的話題，如體育比賽、音樂(lè)會(huì)甚至政治等，有助于彼此了解。
8.“下次理發(fā)時(shí)，鬢角剪得短點(diǎn)�！�不要總是給他不需要的建議，而應(yīng)經(jīng)常贊許他們的想法。
9.“你會(huì)干什么？我像你這么大時(shí)早工作了１不要拿孩子與自己當(dāng)年進(jìn)行比較。時(shí)間長(zhǎng)了，孩子會(huì)拒絕與你溝通。
10.“你還不減肥，胖得腦子里只剩油了吧？”千萬(wàn)不要用困擾他的事情開(kāi)玩笑。記住，青少年敏感、容易受傷害。
11.“你為什么總干傻事？”不要在他們某些行為后，問(wèn)這樣的話。你可以問(wèn)：“做這件事對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)有什么意義嗎?”
12.“不是我嘮叨，是你沒(méi)明白１不要對(duì)某些事情一而再地嘮叨。只給他們提出自己的建議，相信孩子，讓他們自己去選擇。
“這12句話，詳盡地展現(xiàn)出了父母在與子女溝通時(shí)最容易犯的4個(gè)錯(cuò)誤�！北本⿴煼洞髮W(xué)發(fā)展心理研究所副所長(zhǎng)沃建中對(duì)《生命時(shí)報(bào)》記者表示，第一，用命令式口吻對(duì)孩子說(shuō)話;第二，吝嗇鼓勵(lì)和贊美孩子;第三，經(jīng)常否定、責(zé)罵孩子;第四，總是給孩子提出各種要求。這四種錯(cuò)誤會(huì)導(dǎo)致孩子與家長(zhǎng)的溝通出現(xiàn)問(wèn)題，值得家長(zhǎng)認(rèn)真反思。
擴(kuò)展閱讀：
非常經(jīng)典有深度的電影英文臺(tái)詞
1.一個(gè)人總要走陌生的路，看陌生的風(fēng)景，聽(tīng)陌生的歌，然后在某個(gè)不經(jīng)意的瞬間，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，原本是費(fèi)盡心機(jī)想要忘記的事情真的就那么忘記了。
One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you try hard to forget are already gone.
2.幸福，不是長(zhǎng)生不老，不是大魚(yú)大肉，不是權(quán)傾朝野。幸福是每一個(gè)微小的生活愿望達(dá)成。當(dāng)你想吃的時(shí)候有得吃，想被愛(ài)的時(shí)候有人來(lái)愛(ài)你。
Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights in one's hand. It’s about having each tiny wish come true, or having something to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when you need love.
3.愛(ài)情是燈，友情是影子，當(dāng)燈滅了，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)你的周?chē)际怯白�。朋友，是在最后可以給你力量的人。
Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give you strength at last.
4.我愛(ài)你不是因?yàn)槟闶钦l(shuí)，而是我在你面前可以是誰(shuí)。
I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you.
5.愛(ài)情，要么讓人成熟，要么讓人墮落。
Love makes man grow up or sink down.
6.舉得起放得下的叫舉重，舉得起放不下的叫負(fù)重�？上�，大多數(shù)人的愛(ài)情，都是負(fù)重的。
If you can hold something up and put it down, it is called weight-lifting; if you can hold something up but can never put it down,it's called burden-bearing. Pitifully, most of people are bearing heavy burdens when they are in love.
7.我們每個(gè)人都生活在各自的過(guò)去中，人們會(huì)用一分鐘的時(shí)間去認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)人，用一小時(shí)的時(shí)間去喜歡一個(gè)人，再用一天的時(shí)間去愛(ài)上一個(gè)人，到最后呢，卻要用一輩子的時(shí)間去忘記一個(gè)人。
We all live in the past. We take a minute to know someone, one hour to like someone, and one day to love someone, but the whole life to forget someone.
8.一個(gè)人一生可以愛(ài)上很多的人，等你獲得真正屬于你的幸福之后，你就會(huì)明白一起的傷痛其實(shí)是一種財(cái)富，它讓你學(xué)會(huì)更好地去把握和珍惜你愛(ài)的人。
One may fall in love with many people during the lifetime. When you finally get your own happiness, you will understand the previous sadness is kind of treasure, which makes you better to hold and cherish the people you love.
9.年輕的時(shí)候會(huì)想要談很多次戀愛(ài)，但是隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)，終于領(lǐng)悟到愛(ài)一個(gè)人，就算用一輩子的時(shí)間，還是會(huì)嫌不夠。慢慢地去了解這個(gè)人，體諒這個(gè)人，直到愛(ài)上為止，是需要有非常寬大的胸襟才行。
When you are young, you may want several love experiences. But as time goes on, you will realize that if you really love someone, the whole life will not be enough. You need time to know, to forgive and to love. All this needs a very big mind.
10.當(dāng)明天變成了今天成為了昨天，最后成為記憶里不emrowgh.com再重要的某一天，我們突然發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在不知不覺(jué)中已被時(shí)間推著向前走，這不是靜止火車(chē)?yán)�，與相鄰列車(chē)交錯(cuò)時(shí)，仿佛自己在前進(jìn)的錯(cuò)覺(jué)，而是我們真實(shí)的在成長(zhǎng)，在這件事里成了另一個(gè)自己。
When tomorrow turns in today, yesterday, and someday that no more important in your memory, we suddenly realize that we are pushed forward by time. This is not a train in still in which you may feel forward when another train goes by. It is the truth that we've all grown up. And we become different.
11.離開(kāi)我就別安慰我，要知道每一次縫補(bǔ)也會(huì)遭遇穿刺的痛。
If you leave me, please don't comfort me because each sewing has to meet stinging pain.
12.曾經(jīng)擁有的，不要忘記。不能得到的，更要珍惜。屬于自己的，不要放棄。已經(jīng)失去的，留作回憶。
Don’t forget the things you once you owned. Treasure the things youcan’t get. Don't give up the things that belong to you and keep those lost things in memory.
13.我喜歡并習(xí)慣了對(duì)變化的東西保持著距離，這樣才會(huì)知道什么是最不會(huì)被時(shí)間拋棄的準(zhǔn)則。比如愛(ài)一個(gè)人，充滿變數(shù)，我于是后退一步，靜靜的看著，直到看見(jiàn)真誠(chéng)的感情。
I love and am used to keeping a distance with those changed things.Only in this way can I know what will not be abandoned by time. For example, when you love someone, changes are all around. Then I step backward and watching it silently, then I see the true feelings.
14.男人的愛(ài)是俯視而生，而女人的愛(ài)是仰視而生。如果愛(ài)情像座山，那么男人越往上走可以俯視的女人就越多，而女人越往上走可以仰視的男人就越少。
Men love from overlooking while women love from looking up. If love is a mountain, then if men go up, more women they will see while women will see fewer men.
15.好的愛(ài)情是你通過(guò)一個(gè)人看到整個(gè)世界，壞的愛(ài)情是你為了一個(gè)人舍棄世界。
Good love makes you see the whole world from one person while bad love makes you abandon the whole world for one person.
16.在自己面前，應(yīng)該一直留有一個(gè)地方，獨(dú)自留在那里。然后去愛(ài)。不知道是什么，不知道是誰(shuí)，不知道如何去愛(ài)，也不知道可以愛(ài)多久。只是等待一次愛(ài)情，也許永遠(yuǎn)都沒(méi)有人�？墒�，這種等待，就是愛(ài)情本身。
We shall always save a place for ourselves, only for ourselves. And then begin to love. Have no idea of what it is, who he is, how to love or how long it will be. Just wait for one love. Maybe no one will come out, but this kind of waiting is the love itself.
17.有誰(shuí)不曾為那暗戀而痛苦?我們總以為那份癡情很重，很重，是世上最重的重量。有一天，暮然回首，我們才發(fā)現(xiàn)，它一直都是很輕，很輕的。我們以為愛(ài)的很深，很深，來(lái)日歲月，會(huì)讓你知道，它不過(guò)很淺，很淺。最深和最重的愛(ài)，必須和時(shí)日一起成長(zhǎng)。
Is there anyone who hasn't suffered for the secret love? We always think that love is very heavy, heavy and could be the heaviest thing in the world. But one day, when you look back, you suddenly realize that it's always light, light. We all thought love was very deep, but in fact it's very thin. The deepest and heaviest love must grow up withthe time.
18.在這個(gè)世界上，只有真正快樂(lè)的男人，才能帶給女人真正的快樂(lè)。
In this world, only those men who really feel happy can give women happiness
19.女人如果不性感，就要感性;如果沒(méi)有感性，就要理性;如果沒(méi)有理性，就要有自知之明;如果連這個(gè)都沒(méi)有了，她只有不幸。
If a woman is not sexy, she needs emotion; if she is not emotional, she needs reason; if she is not reasonable, she has to know herself clearly. coz only she has is misfortune.
20.一段不被接受的愛(ài)情，需要的不是傷心，而是時(shí)間，一段可以用來(lái)遺忘的時(shí)間。一顆被深深傷了的心，需要的不是同情，而是理解。
An unacceptable love needs no sorrow but time- sometime for forgetting.A badly-hurt heart needs no sympathy but understanding.
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