多文化社會的優(yōu)缺點雅思大作文點評

　　Multi-cultural societies are mixtures of ethnic groups. To what extent do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages?

　　Multi-cultural（這是形容詞，怎么作主語了？！） has been brought to spotlight recently, as a prevailing phenomenon nowadays（多余） that the countries on the earth are becoming more and more exchanged（這個句子很晦澀，as在這里是作連詞嗎？如果是的話，它應該引導一個句子，那么后面只有that引導的同位語從句，卻沒有主句的謂語動詞了�。。。�.People at every corner to share and enjoy the same spiritual life together, which not only promote a climate of peace and prosperity but also enrich the city life and broaden the horizons of human beings. Such a trend has both merits and demerits although, as for me, the former prevails over the latter obviously. （80words）

　　結構分析：前面寫了n句話，都是在引題，但是內容顯得有點啰嗦。最后一句是作者的觀點，即主題句，寫得還行。

　　語言方面：句型是很多，錯誤就更多了�。。〈蠹乙�注意，拿高分必須要有一定量的句型，但是如果連基本的句子都寫不對就去大膽寫長句的.話，結果可能更慘�。。〈硕�，雖然明顯看得出作者掌握了一定的句型，可是似乎掌握的還不是特別好，基本上都有錯，這就使得，現在這篇文章最高的起評分只有5分�。�！得不償失啊�。。�

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