GMAT考試作文點(diǎn)評(píng)分析
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原題：
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
邏輯漏洞：
1. false analogy: The food industry is not analogous to the color film industry.
2.causal oversimplification: Other factors that may contribute t to the cost decline of the printing cost should be considered and ruled out.
3.gratuitous assumption: The conclusion of the argument is based on a gratuitous assumption that the company can minimize cost and maximize profit because the company has been conducted for 25 years.
范文：
The author assumes that since organizations engaged in color-film processing were able to increase efficiency and cut-down costs over a period of 25 years; same must be true of Olympic Foods, which is about to celebrate its 25th anniversary. The arguments is based on questionable assumptions and weak analogies and appears to be a result of a hasty generalization.
The main problem with the author’s reasoning is the weak analogy he develops between the two “processing” industries. One fails to see any logical connection between the two and the author makes no effort to show the connection either. The two industries are too dissimilar to be compared. For example: frozen food industry faces problem of storage, transportation, contamination etc; no similar problems are observed in the film-processing industry. Even the markets for the two differ widely. The argument could have been strong if the author could show the missing connection or if he had compared the frozen-food industry with a similar industry.
Also the author fails to recognize that it’s not the number of years of experience that matters; what actually matters is what is learnt over all those years.
An industry may mature over a couple of years, yet another may remain stagnant even after 25 years. The color-film industry people may have tremendous learnings that may have contributed to the cost-reduction; but the report shows no evidence of Olympic Foods doing the same.
GMAT作文建議1.文章的長(zhǎng)度
大多數(shù)人的做法：“AWA寫作沒(méi)有要求長(zhǎng)度或者字?jǐn)?shù)。所以要寫作重要是簡(jiǎn)潔，一般兩段為佳。”
破解誤區(qū)：這樣的做法會(huì)為你的寫作減分。即使AWA寫作沒(méi)有規(guī)定明確的字?jǐn)?shù)，但是據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì)GMAT考試，大多數(shù)的高分essay還是集中在文章400+詞。這里需要說(shuō)明，較長(zhǎng)的essay會(huì)被認(rèn)為你的寫作針對(duì)某一issue or argument是比較全面和有獨(dú)到的見(jiàn)解。
Tip：所以最佳作品建議：400-430 words
GMAT作文建議2.文章的寫作思路
大多數(shù)人的做法：“我不想寫的太多，只是點(diǎn)到為止。文章的argument都是比較基礎(chǔ)的。”
破解誤區(qū)：在AWA的GMAT寫作中，無(wú)法全面的表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)或者看法。但是在該段寫作結(jié)束之前，請(qǐng)先為自己一個(gè)問(wèn)題：“接下來(lái)該怎么寫?這些內(nèi)容會(huì)對(duì)我的thesis有什么幫助?這個(gè)點(diǎn)為什么重要?”提醒：寫作的目的是為了將你的觀點(diǎn)表達(dá)的絲絲入扣。所以在練習(xí)的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)注意你的觀點(diǎn)之間的銜接，不要讓它被孤立，這樣會(huì)為你的寫作減分的。
Tip：注意你的觀點(diǎn)或論點(diǎn)前后的銜接，并且保證你每一段的論述大于2 sentences。
GMAT作文建議3.清晰的寫作目的
大多數(shù)人的`做法：“我知道字?jǐn)?shù)應(yīng)該在400+，但是我對(duì)于這個(gè)topic不了解。所以只是想到什么就寫什么，然后盡量將它們聯(lián)系起來(lái)。”
破解誤區(qū)：如果你對(duì)topic沒(méi)有認(rèn)識(shí)，僅僅只是跟著自己想到得內(nèi)容，隨便寫。不可否認(rèn)，有時(shí)候源自于潛意識(shí)的觀點(diǎn)也是不錯(cuò)的。但是，與此相伴出現(xiàn)的問(wèn)題是：你無(wú)法就給定的subject進(jìn)行深入且謹(jǐn)慎的討論。然而文章嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)慕Y(jié)構(gòu)卻是寫作不可缺少的。PS：這里寫作時(shí)考你的分析能力，而不是你就某一個(gè)問(wèn)題的了解程度(即，你的知識(shí)儲(chǔ)備)。
Tips：更多的注重你的argument，而不是某一個(gè)例子本身。如果對(duì)某一些題目不熟悉的話，建議看看英文類的雜志。
GMAT作文建議4. 你的論點(diǎn)
大多數(shù)人的做法：“我對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題沒(méi)有什么看法，它看起來(lái)太復(fù)雜了。我只是敘述了它的觀點(diǎn)，而沒(méi)有就某一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)做特別的論證。”
破解誤區(qū)：這樣的做法只是會(huì)讓你的essay減分。在寫作的時(shí)候，你需要明確你就某一問(wèn)題或觀點(diǎn)的看法，這樣會(huì)使你的文章重心突出。注意在寫作時(shí)，不要把你的論點(diǎn)當(dāng)成一個(gè)問(wèn)題，又拋給你的讀者，而是要清晰的表達(dá)你的觀點(diǎn)。
Tips：如果你無(wú)法就某一argument or issue確定你的觀點(diǎn)，請(qǐng)重新審視題目，對(duì)其中的提示性語(yǔ)言做出一個(gè)outline。不斷的練習(xí)，將是你在這一方面取得長(zhǎng)足的進(jìn)步。
GMAT作文建議5.合適的用例，為你添彩
大多數(shù)人的做法：“我知道的不多，所以并沒(méi)有使用具體例子說(shuō)明。”
破解誤區(qū)：盡管GMAT考試不會(huì)考察你的business, history, 和時(shí)事的了解程度，但是你還需要有一定程度的了解。否則，面對(duì)topic，也許你會(huì)啞口無(wú)言。
Tips：你可以在你的AWA寫作時(shí)，運(yùn)用很多例子，關(guān)于history、current events、literature、your personal life、your work experience。建議閱讀：The Economist, The Wall Street Journal, or Business week。
Another point that the author misses completely is that there may be factors other than just the expertise and experience gained over the mentioned period. For example: developments in technology may have resulted in the cost-reduction for the color-film processing industry. The author could have strengthened his stand by showing that it’s merely the increased efficiency that has brought costs down. He could have also chosen to highlight similar developments in the food-processing industry too.
To sum, the author’s conclusion doesn’t appear to be convincing at all. The author could have made it a bit persuasive by presenting the evidence mentioned above. Without these, the argument is weak and fails to impress the reader.
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