2014雅思寫(xiě)作典型病句分析

　　Task Two

　　Some famous universities lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic talents. To what extent do you agree with this practice? Give reasons based on your experience.

　　You should write at least 250 words and spend approximately 40 minutes on this task.

　　對(duì)病句的點(diǎn)評(píng)

　　誤：Lowering the academic standards to accept the special student can lead to decline the quality of education and to destroy the respection of college.

　　decline 之后應(yīng)有介詞in 或 of。 destroy 是動(dòng)詞，此處應(yīng)用名詞 destruction ，與前面的 decline 平行，均為 lead to 的賓語(yǔ)。 Respection 完全不對(duì)，根本沒(méi)有這個(gè)單詞。作者想用 respect (禮 貌、尊敬)，但仍不對(duì)，要用 reputation (聲譽(yù))。但destruction 與 reputation 又不是很好的 搭配，因此應(yīng)將 destruction 改為damage。

　　正： Lowering the academic standards to accept special students can lead to the decline of the quality of education and the damage of the reputation of the school. (damage為名詞，與decline 平行)

　　或： Lowering the academic standards to accept special students can lead to the decline of the quality of education and damage the reputation of the school. (damage 為動(dòng)詞，與 lead to 平行)

　　誤：Their (other students’) opportunities that entering college may be occupied by those students with athletic talents.

　　作者有用定語(yǔ)修飾 opportunities 的意圖，但因語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤而效果極差。其實(shí)很簡(jiǎn)單，用 to enter 即可。

　　be occupied 應(yīng)改為 taken away。

　　正： Their opportunities to enter college may be taken away by those students with athletic talents.

　　誤：The university also benefit itself by his athletic fame due to enrol and train the students who have special athletic talents. For example, Oxford and Cambridge are very famous in the world. The reason may be owned a little to their boat race games.

　　這是兩個(gè)很好的句子，因?yàn)槠渲幸粋�(gè)是“論點(diǎn)”，另一個(gè)是“論據(jù)”。這種用事例、數(shù)據(jù)等證據(jù)來(lái)支持論點(diǎn)的做法使人感到客觀。很多考試的作文會(huì)由于英文水平欠佳、缺乏論據(jù)、受漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)方式的影響等原因而顯得口號(hào)多，實(shí)際內(nèi)容不扎實(shí)，得不到理想的分?jǐn)?shù)。

　　此句有若干錯(cuò)誤，請(qǐng)對(duì)比前后兩句。

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