英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話（通用15篇）

　　英語(yǔ)演講能力是學(xué)生英語(yǔ)綜合能力的重要組成部分。對(duì)高校學(xué)生英語(yǔ)演講能力的培養(yǎng)符合獨(dú)立院校培養(yǎng)應(yīng)用型人才的目標(biāo)定位。下面是小編為你整合的英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話的資料，希望能夠幫助到你。

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 1

　　Good morning everyone.

　　today is my turn to the speech. First of all, I would like to say that a quick test, we hope that the good preparation, good test for all, is the only way home for a good year. My English is not high, I wish I could within the next two years to learn English well. I hope you will be able to learn English after graduation to have a good future.

　　Finally, I wish the students and teachers a happy new year, further study and work. Well! I finished the speech. Thank you for listening.

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 2

　　Hi everybody.

　　How I wish to live a house surrounded by limpid water! From the windows of the house you could see the clear water flowing by. And the fresh smell of the water could make you forget a day’s hard work and feel vigorous again. And the limpid water could bring us green trees, pleasant grass and colorful flowers. Yes, it is like a beautiful drawing. Yes, it is my good dream!

　　Can this dream come true?

　　A few years ago, the suZhou river was polluted. But now, with the help of city governments, it becomes clean. So we should save and protect the water.

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 3

　　Hi everybody.

　　A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.

　　He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.

　　"Is this yours?" he asked.

　　She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

　　On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "Im about to have dinner. Theres plenty. Would you like to join me?"

　　He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "Ive had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?"

　　The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"

　　"No," she replied, "Only those who catch my eye."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 4

　　A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "Thats the smartest dog Ive ever seen." "Nah, hes not so smart," the friend replied. "Ive beaten him three games out of five."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 5

　　A doctor wrote a prescription for a patient. "Take this medicine three times a day after meals." A week later, the patient came back and said, "Doctor, Im very obedient. I took the medicine three times a day after meals, but it didnt work." The doctor asked, "Did you take it with water?" The patient replied, "No, I took it with biscuits."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 6

　　A man got into an elevator. When he reached the third floor, the elevator stopped and a beautiful woman got in. The man stared at her and said, "Tall, blonde, three-bedroom, two-bath. Im the one who called." The woman looked at him strangely and said, "You must be mistaken. Im just going to the fourth floor."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 7

　　A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I will stay with you for one week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog asked, "Whats the matter? Dont you want to turn me into a princess?" The man said, "No, Im a computer programmer. I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is really cool."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 8

　　A man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper points to three parrots and says, "The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars. The one in the middle is 1,000 dollars, and the parrot on the right is 2,000 dollars." The man asks, "Why is the parrot on the right so expensive?" The shopkeeper says, "Well, that parrot can speak ten languages." The man then asks, "What about this middle one?" The shopkeeper replies, "This one can speak five languages." The man then looks at the parrot on the left and says, "What about that one?" The shopkeeper says, "Oh, that one can speak English." The man is confused and says, "Why is the one that only speaks English the cheapest?" The shopkeeper smiles and says, "Because the other two call him boss."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 9

　　Six-year-old Sally was in the backseat of her parents car. Her father asked her to pass him a screwdriver. Sally handed him a hammer instead. Her father said, "No, I need a screwdriver." Sally apologized and then handed him a screwdriver. Her mother asked, "Why did you give Daddy the hammer first?" Sally replied, "I thought he was going to fix something, and he always says that if you want to fix something, you have to hammer it first."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 10

　　A thief broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. When he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "Im just trying to warn you." The thief relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the thief laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said, "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 11

　　A little boy went to the store with his mother. The clerk asked the boy, "Do you want a lollipop?" The boy said nothing. The clerk asked again, "Son, do you want a lollipop?" The boy still didnt answer. The mother then said, "Its okay, dear. You can have one if you want." The boy said, "No, thank you. Im just waiting for you to say the magic word." The clerk and the mother were puzzled. The mother asked, "Whats the magic word?" The boy grinned and said, "Please."

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 12

　　A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he says, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First Im a teepee; then Im a wigwam; then Im a teepee; then Im a wigwam. Its driving me crazy. Whats wrong with me?" The doctor replies, "Its very simple. Youre two tents."

　　This joke plays on the homophones "teepee" and "tent" as well as "wigwam" and "two tents". It creates a humorous situation where the mans strange dreams are given a punny explanation by the doctor.

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 13

　　Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Holmes asks. Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

　　The humor lies in the contrast between Watsons elaborate and intellectual deductions about the stars and Holmes practical and down-to-earth realization that their tent is missing.

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 14

　　A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isnt paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how youre thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how youre thinking!"

　　Here, the joke is about the unexpected and humorous answers given by Johnny, first about the ducks and then about the women, which catch the teacher off guard.

　　英語(yǔ)一分鐘演講小笑話 15

　　A man was pulled over by a police officer. The officer walked up to the mans car and said, "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car a few miles back?" The man replied, "Thank God! I thought I had gone deaf!"

　　This joke is based on the mans comical and somewhat callous reaction. Instead of being concerned about his wife falling out of the car, he is relieved that his hearing is okay, creating a rather absurd and funny situation.

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