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美國(guó)留學(xué)MBA文書點(diǎn)評(píng)
美國(guó)MBA文書帶有很大的主觀成分和發(fā)揮空間。在客觀學(xué)術(shù)和語(yǔ)言成績(jī)相似的情況下，文書的成敗與否，成為申請(qǐng)者被錄取與否的關(guān)鍵。如何巧避文書雷區(qū)，讓你的文書在眾多文書中脫穎而出呢？我們來(lái)看一個(gè)美國(guó)MBA文書范例及名師點(diǎn)評(píng)，希望對(duì)大家有所幫助。
Failed Internet Startup
[Prompt: We all experience defining moments, significant events that can have a major impact on our lives. Briefly describe such an event and how it affected you.]
The president of our company announced the final vote: five to three in favor of ending the business. Instantly, the tumultuous adventure of Versaworks abruptly ended. This web-based company we had founded aimed to promote an online reservation system for restaurants. Planning to run the company part-time while we sought initial business contracts to generate some base revenue, we had hoped to attract enough investors to provide funding for the team to work full-time. In the end, however, our inability to solidify relationships with restaurants led to the vote on closing the business, and the votes outcome was what everyone had expected.
However, closing this chapter in my life allowed me to open a new one, as it caused me to re-evaluate my career goals. I asked myself, why was I so motivated to start a business in the first place Why did I find its possibilities more rewarding than my successful engineering career I came to realize that while engineering allowed me to apply my technical skills to developing advanced technology, I believed I had the opportunity and privilege to enhance peoples lives more effectively by guiding a collaborative effort, a whole company directed towards providing for the needs of its customers.
In a word, today I understand that my long-term career goal is to maximize my contribution to society. Through my Versaworks experience, I gained a new perspective on what it takes to start a business. The closing of that project compelled me to refocus on my goals and evaluate what I need in order to achieve them. Today, I know that the pursuit of an MBA education is the next step I must take.
作者通過(guò)對(duì)自己曾經(jīng)的失敗創(chuàng)業(yè)經(jīng)歷的描述，并且通過(guò)這次失敗的經(jīng)歷，使得自己明確了目標(biāo)，重新為自己的未來(lái)的目標(biāo)確立了更新更細(xì)更有規(guī)劃性的理念。作者在創(chuàng)業(yè)失敗之后，捫心自問(wèn)，思考自己究竟為什么要進(jìn)行這樣的工作，使得自己對(duì)于創(chuàng)業(yè)理念有了更深入的理解。整個(gè)事件都緊扣題目，深刻地向讀者展現(xiàn)了失敗瞬間的決定對(duì)于自己未來(lái)的影響。
整篇文章意圖向讀者體現(xiàn)的是作者具有很強(qiáng)的決策性能力，分析能力以及學(xué)習(xí)能力。為什么要進(jìn)行MBA的學(xué)習(xí)，希望通過(guò)MBA學(xué)習(xí)之后培養(yǎng)什么樣的能力都說(shuō)得合情合理，將閱讀者想要通過(guò)文章了解到作者申請(qǐng)MBA學(xué)位所應(yīng)該具有的能力這種想法把握的非常清楚�？梢哉f(shuō)是非常成功的文章。很多的ESSAY寫作的時(shí)候都是沒(méi)有能夠把握住命題者的意圖而產(chǎn)生下筆千言離題萬(wàn)里的情況，所體現(xiàn)的往往是很片面的東西，比如有的作者往往是說(shuō)一些空洞的話，說(shuō)自己具有什么樣的能力，而并沒(méi)有通過(guò)具體的事例體現(xiàn)出來(lái)，或者僅僅是對(duì)事件進(jìn)行了詳細(xì)的描述而沒(méi)有說(shuō)明自己通過(guò)事情得到了什么。這些通常是ESSAY寫作失敗的通病。而作者卻規(guī)避了這些問(wèn)題，用事件結(jié)合收獲再推出想法的寫作方式，完成了整篇文章。
可以說(shuō)學(xué)校希望通過(guò)ESSAY了解到的就是一個(gè)具有長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)規(guī)劃的學(xué)生，有沒(méi)有學(xué)習(xí)能力以及創(chuàng)新能力，而作者正是通過(guò)文章展示了一個(gè)擁有理智思維以及對(duì)事情的學(xué)習(xí)吸收能力的學(xué)生，完全符合學(xué)校的要求。同時(shí)文章的結(jié)構(gòu)也是亮點(diǎn)，從第一段對(duì)事件的描述，到第二段自己對(duì)于這件事情的思考所得到的東西，再到第三段的自己進(jìn)行MBA學(xué)習(xí)的理由，簡(jiǎn)明扼要，直奔主題，看上去非常具有條理，值得借鑒。
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