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人際關(guān)系處理的小技巧
人際關(guān)系處理一直是我們出到社會(huì)上面必修的一門課程，學(xué)好這門課程可以讓我們更好地在社會(huì)上面立足，下面是小編給大家整理的人際關(guān)系處理的小技巧，希望對(duì)大家有所幫助!
在人生的大部分時(shí)間里，我們以為自己是一個(gè)個(gè)體，但我們并不能隨心所欲地活著，因?yàn)槲覀兪巧鐣?huì)人，有著各種身份，充當(dāng)著不同的社會(huì)角色，我們無法獨(dú)自生存，于是我們需要融入各種圈子，需要社交，也許你并不擅長，沒關(guān)系，這里有14個(gè)小技巧能夠助你快速變身萬人迷!周五了，燥起來吧~
We all care about what others think of us and want to be liked.
我們都在乎別人怎么看待我們，都渴望被別人喜歡。
The basics of getting people to like you are obvious — be nice, be considerate, be a decent human being. However, there are also many smaller, more discreet things you can do that can have a huge effect on how others perceive you.
讓別人喜歡上你的基本方法很明顯——要和藹、考慮周到、正派。然而你還能做一些更細(xì)小、更簡單的事，這會(huì)對(duì)其他人對(duì)你的印象造成巨大影響。
1. Use a Person's Name.
叫對(duì)方的名字。
Let's face it — we're all huge narcissists and we all love the sound of our own name. Learn names and make use of them. Always use an individual's name in a conversation. This tried-and-true technique is sure to increase your fan base.
我們要面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)——我們都很自戀，喜歡聽別人叫自己的名字，問問別人的名字并且用名字稱呼他們，和別人聊天時(shí)要經(jīng)常提到對(duì)方的名字。這個(gè)行之有效的技巧一定會(huì)為你贏得眾多粉絲。
2. Smile — With Feeling!
微笑——要發(fā)自內(nèi)心!
When someone offers a huge grin brimming with authenticity, happiness rubs off on its receivers. There have been many studies showing how mood, whether positive or negative, spreads between individuals. If your positive attitude brightens someone else's day, that person will love you for it.
當(dāng)有人真心實(shí)意地微笑時(shí)，幸福會(huì)感染對(duì)方。曾有很多研究表明無論是積極還是消極的情緒都會(huì)在人與人之間傳遞。如果你的積極態(tài)度讓別人一天都感到幸福，他也會(huì)因此愛上你。
3. Listen (Not Just With Your Ears).
傾聽(不只是用耳朵)。
It's probably a no-brainer that people will like you more if you listen to them. This starts with ignoring your Twitter feed while out to dinner with friends, but goes a lot further than that. You can show you're listening to someone through body language (positioning your body to face someone and mirroring his or her stance), eye contact (giving plenty of it), and verbal confirmation (we'll talk more about this next).
如果你聆聽別人的傾訴，他們就會(huì)更喜歡你，這件事可能很好理解。你可以從跟朋友出去吃飯時(shí)不看推特做起，但你需要做的還有很多。你可以用肢體語言(身體要面向?qū)Ψ侥７聦?duì)方的姿勢(shì))、眼神交流(這個(gè)要有很多)和言語上的確認(rèn)(我們接下來要多聊聊這件事)來表明你在聽對(duì)方說話。
4. Use Verbal Confirmation.
言語確認(rèn)。
Most psychology books refer to this technique as "active listening." Active listening revolves around demonstrating your listening skills by repeating segments of what an individual has said to you.
大多數(shù)心理學(xué)書籍把這個(gè)稱為“積極傾聽”。積極傾聽圍繞的是通過重復(fù)對(duì)方的一部分話來證明你的傾聽技巧。
In speech this kind of dialogue can actually go a long way to make people like you more. It makes the other individual feel as though you really are paying attention. Plus, people love to hear their own words echoed back at them as it pats their egos a bit.
在實(shí)際對(duì)話中這種對(duì)話能繼續(xù)下去并使人們更喜歡你。這會(huì)使對(duì)方感覺你真的很投入，此外，人們喜歡聽到他們的話被附和，這能提高他們的自信。
5. Conversation Recall: Prove You're Paying Attention.
對(duì)話回想：證明你在注意聽。
To really show someone you've been paying attention, try bringing up a topic that the person mentioned earlier. Did your co-worker talk about working with his son on a science fair project last week? Follow up and ask how it went. They don’t have to be big, life-changing events. In fact, sometimes it says more that you can recall and show interest in even the small happenings in another person's life.
為了真正表明你在注意聽，你可以試著提出對(duì)方之前提過的話題。你的同事談?wù)撋现芎退麅鹤右黄饏⒓涌茖W(xué)展覽了?你可以接著這個(gè)話題問問他展覽怎么樣。他們說的可能都不是威脅生命的大事，其實(shí)有時(shí)你能回憶起他們說的話、甚至對(duì)對(duì)方生活里的小事都感興趣才更有說服力。
6. Handle Criticism With Tact.
批評(píng)要委婉。
While you want to be generous with your praise, be stingy with your criticism. People have delicate egos, and even a slight word of condemnation can wound someone's pride. If someone makes an error, don't call that person out in front of a group. Consider praising before and after a criticism.
雖然贊揚(yáng)時(shí)不該吝嗇，但批評(píng)別人時(shí)要注意。人們的自尊心都很脆弱，即使一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)指責(zé)都會(huì)傷害到人的自尊。如果有人犯錯(cuò)誤了，不要當(dāng)著一群人的面說出來。你可以考慮在批評(píng)前后都稱贊對(duì)方。
Another strategy for diplomatically dispensing corrections is to begin by discussing your own mistakes before digging into someone else's errors. Ultimately, aim to be always gentle with criticism and only offer it when it's truly needed.
另外一個(gè)委婉糾正別人的方法就是先說說自己的錯(cuò)誤，然后再深究別人的錯(cuò)誤。你的最終目的就是要委婉地批評(píng)，真有必要時(shí)才給予指正。
7. Be a Real Person, Not a Robot.
做一個(gè)真正的人，不做機(jī)器人。
People like to see character and authenticity. Try to be confident but respectful. Some cooperation experts suggest stepping toward a person and bending slightly forward when you're introduced, in a gesture of a bow. These kinds of gestures can go a long way toward making people think more highly of you.
人們喜歡看到個(gè)性和真實(shí)的一面，努力表現(xiàn)得自信但有禮貌。一些合作專家建議你朝一個(gè)人走去，把你介紹給別人時(shí)你要微微俯身，做出鞠躬的姿勢(shì)。這些姿勢(shì)都有助于別人對(duì)你作出更高評(píng)價(jià)。
8. Become an Expert in Storytelling.
善于講故事。
People love a good story, and great stories require sophisticated storytellers. Storytelling is an art form that requires understanding of language and pacing. Master the fine oral tradition of storytelling and people will flock to you like you're The Bard.
人們都喜歡好故事，好故事也要有擅長的人來講。講故事是一門藝術(shù)，需要對(duì)語言的理解并注意語速。掌握這種好的口述故事方法，人們就會(huì)聚集在你身邊奉你為詩人。
9. Ask for advice.
征求意見。
Asking someone for advice is, somewhat surprisingly, a great strategy for getting people to like you. Asking for advice shows that you value the other individual's opinion and demonstrates respect. Everyone likes to feel needed and important. When you make someone feel better about himself or herself, that person will most certainly end up liking you for it.
有點(diǎn)意外吧，向別人征求意見很容易讓別人喜歡上你。征求意見表明你看重他們的想法也能顯示你的尊重。每個(gè)人都喜歡被需要以及他們很重要的感覺，你讓別人自我感覺更好了，他最終也會(huì)因此喜歡你的。
10. Ask questions.
問問題。
Asking other people questions — about their lives, their interests, their passions — is a surefire way to get brownie points in their friendship books. People are egocentric — they love to talk about themselves. If you're asking questions and getting people to talk about themselves, they'll leave the conversation thinking you're the coolest. Even if the conversation didn't really give the other person a reason to like you, he or she will think better of you subconsciously just for indulging this or her ego.
問別人一些關(guān)于它們生活、興趣或愛好的問題是贏得友誼屢試不爽的方法。人們都以自我為中心——他們喜歡討論自己。如果你問問題，讓他們談?wù)撽P(guān)于自己的事，聊完天的時(shí)候他們會(huì)覺著你真好。即使對(duì)話內(nèi)容真的沒法讓對(duì)方喜歡上你，但就因?yàn)槌两谶@種自我價(jià)值感里，他或她在潛意識(shí)里也會(huì)對(duì)你印象更好。
那么如何溝通才能讓人心服口服呢?來看看具體的例子吧!
If you don't believe that it pays to think beforeyou speak, let me show you what a difference theright language tweakcan make.
如果你不相信三思而后言的說法，那就讓我來告訴你“說對(duì)話”和“說錯(cuò)話”的區(qū)別有多大。
You know the difference between "I need morehelp around the house" and "You're so lazy," right?One is artful diplomacythe other, like bringing in thetanks. But the strategy involved in getting yourpoint across also applies to individual words. Forinstance, if you're.
“我需要你幫忙收拾下屋子”和“你真是懶死了”，這兩句話的區(qū)別你總能分辨得出來吧?前者是帶有藝術(shù)感的外交辭令，后者則是挑起罵戰(zhàn)的說法。不過，把話說到點(diǎn)子上的策略可以具體到每個(gè)用詞上，比如：
...Offering constructive criticism
想要提供建設(shè)性意見
Instead of: "You did a nice job, but the report needs to be finished."
與其說：“你做得不錯(cuò)，但是記得把報(bào)告做完。”
Try: "You did a nice job, and the report needs to be finished."
不如說：“你做得不錯(cuò)，也請(qǐng)記得把報(bào)告做完。”
The subtext: No matter how positive the first part of the statement, the “but” negatesit. “But” might as well stand for “Beholdthe Underlying Truth”. Once people hear it, they're justwaiting for the bad news。
潛臺(tái)詞：無論首句表達(dá)的意思多么積極，只要用了“但是”就否定了一切。一旦說話中出現(xiàn)了“但是”，就表示“注意說話人的話中話”。因此，一旦人們聽到了“但是”，他們就會(huì)等著聽后面的壞消息了。
...Asking your spouse to change a behavior
想要請(qǐng)求伴侶做出改變
Instead of: "Will you stop smoking for my sake?"
與其說：“你能不能為了我戒煙?”
Try: "Will you stop smoking for the sake of the kids?"
不如說：“你能不能為了孩子戒煙?”
The subtext: Your spousemay resentyour wanting to change his ways—and use thatresentment as an excuse not to change. Putting the focus on a third party removes you fromthe equation. And focusing on children makes people think in terms of their ideal selves。
潛臺(tái)詞：你的伴侶可能已經(jīng)厭煩了你總是期望他能改變，然后就用這種厭煩情緒來作為拒絕改變的借口。既然如此，那就就把焦點(diǎn)放在第三方，讓自己從等式的兩邊擺脫出來。而把焦點(diǎn)放在孩子身上，會(huì)使人產(chǎn)生一種變成“理想的我”的想法。
...Presenting a problem to your boss
想要向老板提出問題
Instead of: "They have issues with the sales staff."
與其說：“他們覺得銷售人員有問題。”
Try: "We have issues with the sales staff."
不如說：“我們覺得銷售人員有問題。”
The subtext: Replacing “they” with “we” can change your outlookand the viewpoint ofothers. After all, if we're not part of the solution, we're part of the problem。
潛臺(tái)詞：用“我們”來代替“他們”可以改變你的立場和其他人的觀點(diǎn)。畢竟，如果我們不是解決問題的一方，那就是制造問題的一方了。
...Trying to make someone see your side
想要?jiǎng)e人理解你的觀點(diǎn)
Instead of: "I know you wanted to surprise me, but changing our plans without warning mewas stupid."
與其說：“我知道你想給我一個(gè)驚喜，但是不事先通知我們就改變計(jì)劃，這么做很愚蠢。”
Try: "I know you wanted to surprise me, but changing our plans without warning me wasnot helpful."
不如說：“我知道你想給我一個(gè)驚喜，但是不事先通知我們就改變計(jì)劃，這么做幫助不大。”
The subtext: As President Obama learned the hard way this summer in discussing thearrestof Henry Louis Gates Jr., stupid is an inflammatoryword. Rather than labeling others'actions, conveythe effect of those actions。
潛臺(tái)詞：奧巴馬總統(tǒng)在今年夏天關(guān)于小亨利-路易斯-蓋茨被鋪一事中學(xué)到的慘痛教訓(xùn)就是，“愚蠢”是一個(gè)具有煽動(dòng)性的詞匯。與其給別人的行動(dòng)貼上標(biāo)簽，不如客觀地表達(dá)這些行為背后的影響。
人際關(guān)系處理的原則有哪些
(1) 平等的原則：社會(huì)主義社會(huì)人際交往，首先要堅(jiān)持平等的原則，無論是公務(wù)還是私交，都沒有高低貴賤之分，要以朋友的身份進(jìn)行交往，才能深交。切忌因工作時(shí)間 短，經(jīng)驗(yàn)不足，經(jīng)濟(jì)條件差而自卑，也不要因?yàn)樽约菏谴髮W(xué)畢業(yè)生、年輕、美貌而趾高氣揚(yáng)。這些心態(tài)都影響人際關(guān)系的順利發(fā)展。
(2) 相容的原則：主要是心理相容、即人與人之間的融洽關(guān)系，與人相處時(shí)的容納、包含、以及寬容、忍讓。主動(dòng)與人交往，廣交朋友，交好朋友，不但交與自己相似的人、還要交與自己性格相反的人，求同存異、互學(xué)互補(bǔ)、處理好競爭與相容的關(guān)系，更好的完善自己。
(3) 互利的原則：指交往雙方的互惠互利。人際交往是一種雙向行為，故有"來而不往、非理也"之說，只有單方獲得好處的人際交往是不能長久的。所以要雙方都受益，不僅是物質(zhì)的，還有精神的，所以交往雙方都要講付出和奉獻(xiàn)。
(4) 信用的原則：交往離不開信用。信用指一個(gè)人誠實(shí)、不欺、信守諾言。古人"有一言既出、駟馬難追"的格言�，F(xiàn)在有以誠實(shí)為本的原則，不要輕易許諾，一旦許 諾、要設(shè)法實(shí)現(xiàn)，以免失信于人。朋友之間，言必信、行必果、不卑不亢、端莊而不過于矜持，謙虛而不矯飾詐偽，不俯仰討好位尊者，不藐視位卑者顯示自己的自 信心，取得別人的信賴。
(5) 寬容的原則: 表現(xiàn)在對(duì)非原則性問題不斤斤計(jì)較，能夠以德報(bào)怨，寬容大度。人際交往中往往會(huì)產(chǎn)生誤解和矛盾。大學(xué)生個(gè)性較強(qiáng)，接觸又密切，不可必免產(chǎn)生矛 盾。這就要求大學(xué)生在交往中不要斤斤計(jì)較，而要謙讓大度、克制忍讓，不計(jì)較對(duì)方的態(tài)度、不計(jì)較對(duì)方的言辭，并勇于承擔(dān)自己的行為責(zé)任，"做到宰相肚里能撐 船"，他吵，你不吵;他兇，你不兇;他罵，你不罵。只要我們胸懷寬廣，容納他人，發(fā)火的一方也會(huì)自覺無趣。寬容克制并不是軟弱、怯懦的表現(xiàn)。相反，它是有 度量的表現(xiàn)，是建立良好人際關(guān)系的潤滑劑，能"化干戈為玉帛"，贏得更多的朋友。
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