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簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事（通用9篇）
有很多孩子都喜歡聽英語故事,特別是一些簡(jiǎn)單又很搞笑的小故事是很受歡迎的。小編為大家精心準(zhǔn)備了簡(jiǎn)單而且搞笑的幾則英語小故事,歡迎大家前來閱讀。
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇1
Covers: Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
封面:忘記你不能改變的過去。忘記你不能預(yù)測(cè)的`將來。
Inside: Forget about the present, I didn’t buy you one.
內(nèi)文:忘記現(xiàn)在，因?yàn)槲覜]有給你買生日禮物。
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇2
A guy gets set up on a blind dateand he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurantto make a good impression.
一個(gè)小伙子被安排去相親，為了能給女孩留一個(gè)好印象，他帶著她去了家收費(fèi)昂貴的餐廳。
The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order.
服務(wù)生過來問他們要點(diǎn)些什么菜。
The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu,shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar Salad, lobster, crepes Suzette,with no regard to the price.
女孩開始點(diǎn)菜了，她幾乎點(diǎn)了菜單上所有的`東西，雞尾蝦、派、凱撒沙拉、龍蝦、柳橙可麗餅，完全不考慮價(jià)格。
The guy is getting very upset,as he never thought she would order so much.
小伙子變得很不安，他真沒想到女孩竟然會(huì)點(diǎn)這么多菜。
She then stops, and looks across at him, and asks,"What do you suggest I wash it down with?"
這時(shí)她停下了，看著坐在對(duì)面的他，問，“你認(rèn)為咱們?cè)摵仁裁淳扑溥@些菜呢?”
"Well my dear, I can think of nothing so fitting as the Mississippi River"
“哦，親愛的，我覺得沒有什么東西比密西西比河更合適了�！�
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇3
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"
一架747客機(jī)正在跨越大西洋時(shí)，喇叭里傳來了機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“旅客們請(qǐng)注意，我們的'四個(gè)引擎中有一個(gè)丟失了。但剩下的三個(gè)引擎會(huì)把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時(shí) 。”
過了一會(huì)兒，旅客們又聽到機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎么啦 ?我們剛又掉了第三個(gè)引擎。但請(qǐng)你們相信好了。只有一個(gè)引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個(gè)小時(shí)了�！�
正在這時(shí)，一位乘客非常氣憤地說：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們?cè)俚粢粋�(gè)引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了�！�
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇4
There once lived a young crow in the countryside. One summer, there was no rain and it was very hot. The crow was very thirsty, but he couldn't find any water.
"How can I survive?" he thought. "I must have water or I'll die!"
Just then he saw a farmhouse. Outside the house, there was a vase with some water at the bottom. He tried to drink, but he couldn't reach the water inside.
The young crow didn't know what to do. He leaned against the vase and cried.
"Will somebody please help me?" sobbed the crow. He cried and cried, but nobody heard him. Finally, he dried his eyes and stood up.
He tried knocking over the vase, but it was too heavy. Then he tried breaking it, but he wasn't strong enough. Finally, he had a good idea. He began dropping stones into the vase. The water slowly rose to the top. At last, the crow could drink.
"What wonderful water!" said the crow. "I'm glad that I didn't waste all my time by crying. Thinking is much better than crying!
曾經(jīng)有一只烏鴉在鄉(xiāng)下。一個(gè)夏天，沒有雨，很熱。烏鴉很渴，但他找不到水。
“我怎樣才能生存?”他想�！蔽冶仨氂兴駝t我會(huì)死的!”
就那么他看到了一座農(nóng)舍。房子外面有個(gè)花瓶，里面有一些水。他試著喝，但他不能到達(dá)水里。
年輕的烏鴉不知道該做什么。他靠在花瓶上哭泣。
“有人能幫我嗎?”嗚咽的`烏鴉。他哭了，哭了，但沒人聽他說。最后，他擦干眼睛，站了起來。
他試圖把花瓶打過來，但太重了。然后他試著打破它，但他不夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng)。最后，他有一個(gè)好主意。他開始把石頭扔進(jìn)花瓶里。水慢慢地漲到了頂部。最后，烏鴉可以喝。
“什么水啊!”烏鴉說。我很高興我沒有浪費(fèi)我的時(shí)間哭。思考比哭泣好得多!
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇5
In a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. Being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. The nurse said;"Doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!"The doctor said;“No,you have to pull him down at once;otherwise, he'll die if he falls down."
一家精神病院里，醫(yī)生走進(jìn)一個(gè)病人的房間，發(fā)現(xiàn)病人正吊在天花板上晃來晃去。醫(yī)生嚇壞了，擔(dān)心病人摔下來一命嗚呼，趕緊叫護(hù)士把病人拉下來。護(hù)士說：¨醫(yī)生，這個(gè)病人每天都認(rèn)為自己是一盞燈，所以常常把自己吊在天花板上�！搬t(yī)生說：¨不行，你 還是得馬上把他拉下來，免得他摔死。
After a pause,the nurse answered: "But the light will go out after I pull him down!"
護(hù)士停頓了一下，說：¨可是，如果我把他拉下來，燈不就熄了嗎？
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇6
At a wedding, a little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white ? "She answered, "The bnde wears white because this is the happiest day of her life."The boy thought about this and said, "Why is the groom wearing black ? "
在一場(chǎng)婚禮上，一個(gè)小男孩問他的`母親：”媽媽，為什么那女孩穿白衣服？“這位母親回答道：”新娘穿白衣服，是因?yàn)榻裉焓撬羁鞓返囊惶��！边@個(gè)男孩想了想然后說：那為什么新郎穿黑衣服�！�
英語笑話：應(yīng)聘間諜
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇7
Ten men applied for a job as an industrial spy. The interviewer gave each man a sealed envelope. They were ordered to deliver it to the fifth floor.
有10個(gè)男人去應(yīng)征產(chǎn)業(yè)間諜的工作。面試者給每個(gè)人一個(gè)封好的信封。他們被命令把信封送到五樓。
One man secretly disobeyed and opened his envelope. It read,"You're the right person for this job. Report to the personneldspartment immediately.“
有一個(gè)人偷偷地違反命令，打開了給他的`信封。上面寫著：¨你是這份工作最合適的人選。馬上到人事部報(bào)到。"
英語笑話：養(yǎng)育孩子方面做得很糟糕
英語笑話：養(yǎng)育孩子方面做得很糟糕
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語小故事 篇8
A boy told his mom she was awful at raising kids.
一個(gè)男孩告訴他媽媽，說她在養(yǎng)育孩子方面做得很糟糕。
She replied,"Hold your tongue. That's not truel"
這位母親回嘴說：“住口，那不是真的”
The boy said, "Then why do you send me tO bed when l'm not tired and wake me up in the morning when l am ? "
男孩說：¨那為什么你總是在我不困的時(shí)候叫我上床睡覺，在早上我困的時(shí)候叫醒我?
簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的'英語小故事 篇9
A farmer wanted to bring ten bags of rice to the market and sell them. He put five bags of rice on his horse and five bags of rice on his donkey.
The bags were very heavy, and soon the donkey became tired. "Please," he said to the horse, "could you carry one of my bags for me? They're so heavy, and you are stronger than I am."
"No," said the horse. "I serve the farmer, not you. He gave me five bags to carry, not six! _
You must do your job, and I must do mine."
The farmer, the horse, and the donkey continued walking under the hot sun. The poor donkey became more and more tired. Suddenly, he fell over at the side of the road.
The farmer tried to pull the donkey to his feet, but the donkey was too tired to move. Then the farmer took the donkey's five bags of rice and put them on the horse.
The horse realized he had made a big mistake. "If I had agreed to help the donkey," he cried, "I'd only have to carry one extra bag. Now I must carry all ten!"
一個(gè)農(nóng)民想把十袋大米到市場(chǎng)上賣。他把五袋大米放在他的馬和五袋大米在他的驢。
袋子很重，很快驢子就累了�！薄罢�(qǐng)，”他對(duì)馬說，“你能幫我拿一個(gè)包嗎?他們太重了，你比我強(qiáng)�！�
“不，”馬說。我為農(nóng)民服務(wù)，而不是你。他給了我五個(gè)袋子，而不是六個(gè)!_
你必須做你的`工作，我必須做我的工作�！�
農(nóng)夫，馬，和驢子繼續(xù)走在烈日下�？蓱z的驢子變得越來越累了。突然，他摔倒在馬路邊上。
農(nóng)夫想把驢子拉到他的腳上，但驢子太累了，動(dòng)不動(dòng)了。農(nóng)夫拿著驢的五袋大米，把它們放在了馬身上。
那馬意識(shí)到他犯了一個(gè)大錯(cuò)誤�！薄叭绻掖饝�(yīng)幫驢子的話，”他喊道，“我只能帶一個(gè)額外的袋子�，F(xiàn)在我必須帶所有十個(gè)!”
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